Chicks, ladies, women, whichever title you prefer we all have needs. No, I don’t mean those kinds of needs –though those needs could potentially be up for discussion in a later post.
It has been brought to my attention that most women have certain expectations when it comes to relationships. I’m not going to conclude whether these expectations are right or wrong, but I would like to discuss them and perhaps explore how certain men around the world fail to meet these expectations. I like to think said men are merely oblivious to these expectations and therefore cannot be held accountable for their actions.
Dudes, guys, men, whatever your preference you seem to have failed to realize most girls really don’t dig the whole “douche bag” façade. Okay maybe I’m overstepping when I say “girls” maybe I should merely include myself and every girl I’ve ever known. You don’t come across charming or mysterious; in reality you look like a pretentious tool.
If you see a lovely lady at a bar you would like to “chat it up” with I would suggest not telling her to stop slouching because she looks like she has a severe case of scoliosis. Jokes about her inferior status as a woman are simply not acceptable, we’re in ‘Merica in the 21st century.
It’s probably wise to make sure when you’re hitting on the one you desire’s friends to make sure that she is not anywhere in the vicinity. Walking five feet away from her and chatting up lovely-lady-friend number two will simply not cut it. Uncomfortable mutterings and a sad ending for you will ensue once you realize most girls tend to use the motto “chicks before”—well you know. You’re gonna have a bad time.
Also, if a girl seems disinterested, actually tells you she’s disinterested, or thoughtfully replies “you’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend” do NOT, I say DO NOT continue to ask her if she would like a drive home with you or even pretend you would like to do so because of her shimmering “personality”. Take note, it’s not wise to suggest paying the girl to go home with you. If I said I had a boyfriend before, the proposition of prostitution doesn’t really change my circumstances.
I know these instincts go all the way back to grade school when the playground jungle made pushing girls around seem like an acceptable past time. When I was seven it was invigorating when a boy came up and called me “ugly” or sneered at me from a distance. Back in the day these acts seemed the perfect way to display your boyish charm and superior strength despite your smaller stature; today these actions seem unwise and infantile.
I understand it’s a hard knock life out there for a man trying to find a lady. Especially when most ladies won’t give you the time of day. Times are hard, expectations are high, and women aren’t willing to deal with your baby-man-like ways. I don’t think it’s asking too much when I kindly beg you to not make reference to my haggard back or my assumed poor driving skills because I’m a woman. And if I get another joke about making you a sandwich one more time…
More about me here.
Contact me here.
A Million Reasons 